This is a new series of articles to introduce my inner voice. (temporary content will be published in tree hole)
It has no fixed update time, just depending on what happens around me.
If you are reading this, thanks for your concern, communicating with me is welcome and don’t share it yourself.

Being an IT again recently, even if my title is still backend dev, but work is IT’s work (salary has not change), emm…

OK, it’s special time, we are moving our company to a new place, there are a lot of IT works have to do, as a former IT, I need to take part in.

When I eating with a friend, he said it seems that I’m undering huge pressure, another day, when eating with colleague, he said the same thing; that means I expose the pressure outside or the level of pressure is really high, I should release some to keep inner peace (so I write this)

So, what is annoying me? let me review what happened recently and think deeply:

  1. Company is moving to a new place (mentioned before), bring a lot of work shouldn’t be mine
  2. Less relaxing time or free time
  3. Not make good use of free time
  4. It’s very close to the end of decoration time, but there are still many things have not done yet.
  5. IT work is not good for my career development
  6. A good friend gets his girl friend. (It seems I am the only one single dog among these friends, congratulations!)
  7. I want more salary to support my goal (the goal needs a lot of money, it’s not enough for my personal hard-working)

I become inner-blocked again. when talking with friend face to face, my topic will be focus on job and there has a excellent reason: “most of time are spent on work, no other things can be talk”

Even if when we talk deeper, I will give a wrong answer (different from the real inner thought) and bypass the topic to next topic (another thing in job). I can’t be frank when I talk about my thought, because I think it’s shameful. (truth need to be expose in the air, so I write this)

I realize the scene in TV drama “Silicon Valley” suddenly: when the pied piper listed, the TV station just want to interview with Jared and no one care about Richard. Later there has a speech for school children, but jared has no time, Rechard take the initiative to go (in fact he dislike speech to public).

No one wants not to be seen, same as Rechard. Asking others to care about me is not my character, in my opinion, the only way is to improve the attractiveness of mine, then they will care you proactively.

So, there needs an another article to discuss/describe What person I want to be precisely.

because of writing, the mood become better than 60 min ago, after a busy daily work, I’m very tired now, it’s time to go to sleep.

Written in mid night of 2022.6.1.


此 生 无 悔 恋 真 白 ,来 世 愿 入 樱 花 庄 。